Zombie Wars (2007)

– A guest review by Liam Jones –

Zombie Wars DVD-500x500

The film starts with rather shoddy camera work and unconvincing text that looks like they were done on a home PC. It explains that 50 years ago, the world was infested with intelligent zombies. While zombies need humans to eat as their food, they are smart enough to realize that just eating them all will lead to famine.

zw1
You can tell already, from the excessively good looking leads, that the acting will be rather shoddy and the budget low

Thus the film is set on a human farm, run and managed by zombies. David (Mayfield) decides he wants to break the status quo, and sets about trying to release his fellow humans. He meets beautiful Star (Koenig), a human who was brought up by zombies and therefore speaks no English.  A few awkward scenes later of non existent dialog, and unfortunately we eventually end up with a speaking Star. He just about manages to avoid sweet talking her into bed, when along comes Sliver (Badeem), a human who wants to get to know them both (but probably Star more so). By this time, the fairly non threatening zombies have expanded their farm, and Sliver offers to help David and Star find their way around. However Sliver’s impressive knowledge of the farm and his general sleazy demeanor arouses David suspicions. The Zombies “food production line” involves keeping the humans in hygienic conditions, and feeding them well , requiring soap and tinned food – neither of which the zombies have technology to make.

The one on the left is a Zombie.
The one on the left is a Zombie.

David’s suspicions that Sliver is working with the Zombies are proven true, and Sliver confesses that it not just him.  The townsfolk in the nearby town had appointed him to infiltrate the rebel humans, like David, and carry out execution. Sliver, torn by his desire to not murder, eventually hands over his gun to David thus enabling him finally to carry out his mission to destroy the farm.

Koenig was in there for only one reason. And it wasn’t acting skills.
Koenig was in there for only one reason. And it wasn’t acting skills.

Overall, for a film entitled Zombie War, the film contains very little of either element: Zombies or War. To be fair, the zombies are omnipresent, but just very “non zombie” like – where else would you see zombies using soap? And as for war, there is no hint of war in the whole film. The great final fight between humans and Zombies can hardly be described as a war, consisting as it does of only David, Star and Sliver vs 20 zombies. In truth, the whole film is shoddy and unconvincing. From the dodgy script, to the poor shooting and unbelievable setting, there is little here to keep even die hard zombie film lovers interested.  The acting is also pretty poor, consolidating the film’s status as a truly budget film. That said, it was moderately entertaining and delivered a novel concept. At less than 90 minutes it never dragged and kept up a good pace throughout.

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